she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
