Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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