Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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