Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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