You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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