it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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