he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I didn't notice because vodka
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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