Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
