You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
