I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
