is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
