Do you still have your period?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
