i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
