Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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