dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
