Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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