Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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