Buhtt sex?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
