Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
