I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Are we still banned from the library?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
