Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize