Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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