Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize