Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
