just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize