Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
