dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
