just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
