It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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