I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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