I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
