Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
