And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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