It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
