is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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