I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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