He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
