I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
