Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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