That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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