Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
