we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize