dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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