so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
