youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
vagina is talking i cant
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
