in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
