Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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