I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize