I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize