dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
