in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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