normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
