I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
