I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
