FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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