Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
