8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
